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Hello, parents, guardians, educators, and mentors of middle schoolers; welcome to September. We made it! Isn’t this year just cruising by? I know you feel it, too.
Before getting started, I’d like to thank you for your time and unwavering support of this blog and the work that Black Girl College Prep is doing to add personal and professional value to students’ lives.
I appreciate you!
September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, and in honor of the gravity and importance of this topic, this month, we’ll be discussing social media safety and mental and social wellness for students.
National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month is a time dedicated to raising awareness about mental health and equipping people with the tools needed to support those who may be struggling.
As parents and advocates for children, please know that it can be a bit more difficult for students, particularly middle schoolers, to have or utilize appropriate words to convey their emotions. Therefore, engaging our youth in intentional and meaningful conversations and taking a more proactive vs. passive approach helps to ensure their well-being.
For middle schoolers, this age can be a weird time, navigating the transition to adolescence, often facing new social pressures, academic demands, greater expectations, and more independence at home. Let's not forget about puberty and the emotional changes it brings.
While there is no playbook or one-size-fits-all best practice for parenting or teaching during this time, there are some basic principles that can help you support your students while safeguarding their mental health.
8 impactful ways to improve the mental health of middle schoolers during national suicide prevention awareness month
1. Remind, Reinforce, Make Known Your Love for Them
First things first, we’ve got to normalize showing affection, compassion, and empathy, as well as expressing love and consideration for each other as humans, neighbors, and, most certainly, in our families. When students know they are loved and actually cared for, they are more likely to feel safe and secure. Heck, this simple principle also applies to us educators, parents, and leaders as well. Think about it, you can always catch more bees with honey and build deeper relationships when people know you care. Furthermore, it’s just kind to be kind.
Here are some tips for reminding, reinforcing, and making the love for your student known:
Demonstrate Kindness: Start by checking your attitude and ensuring your messages and conversations are delivered in a kind and loving way. Be kind not only to those in your home but also to the cashier who’s taking their sweet time at the store, the oblivious driver who’s veering in your lane, and to people in general. Your students are watching, clocking, and mentally recording your behaviors.
Make Your Appreciation Known: Every moment you get, tell your child how much you value them, even when they miss the mark. Let them know you see and appreciate their efforts and how much better the world is with them IN it.
Verbalize Your Love: It never hurts to say I love you and to say it frequently. I’m convinced the more you affirm them in this way, the more they will feel loved. However, your actions should certainly mirror these words. Follow your “I love yous” with consistent action to reflect this.
2. Foster Open Communication
One of the most effective ways to support your child is by creating a safe space for open communication. Encourage your students to talk about their feelings and experiences, whether good or bad. Be mindful of your body language, face, and anything that could appear judgmental so they don’t shut down.
Here are some tips:
Be Available: This includes emotional availability as well. Make time to listen to and engage your students without distractions. If you know, they’re trying to get your attention or speak, put your phone down and everything away. While this may seem like a simple gesture, this tiny little action speaks the loudest. Regularly check-in and show genuine interest in their day-to-day life.
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of asking questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no,” ask questions like, “What was the best part of your day?” or “What’s been on your mind lately?”
Validate Their Feelings: Even if their concerns seem trivial to you, it’s important to acknowledge their feelings and avoid dismissing their emotions. Saying things like, “I understand this is really hard for you,” can go a long way.
3. Recognize the Signs of Distress
Most of us are creatures of habits, so as you watch your child(ren), you’ll learn their behaviors and habits. And if you’ve already created a habit of paying attention, you will notice when something is off. Awareness of signs that your child might be struggling is crucial. Especially if you have multiple children who are closer in age. While every child is different, some common indicators of distress in middle schoolers can include:
Changes in Behavior: Look for significant changes in their behavior, such as negative commentary, the appearance of fear or intimidation, withdrawal from friends or activities they once enjoyed, a drop in academic performance, or sudden mood swings.
Physical Symptoms: Stress and anxiety can manifest physically. Be mindful of those frequent headaches, stomachaches, or other unexplained physical issues. Chronic issues out of the blue can also be their way of avoidance.
Expressions of Hopelessness: Pay attention to comments suggesting hopelessness or worthlessness. Even seemingly offhand remarks like “No one cares about me” or “What’s the point?” should be taken seriously.
4. Promote Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Teaching your child appropriate skills to deal with stress and emotions is essential for their mental health. It is also important for you to display good coping skills. Encourage them to participate in activities that help them rest and rejuvenate, like:
Taking a Nap: Sometimes, a good nap helps us feel recharged and refreshed.
Physical Activity: Regular exercise is a proven stress reliever and mood booster. Encourage your child to participate in sports, dance, or even daily walks (you can do this together to bond if time permits).
Creative Outlets: Art, music, writing, or any creative activity can provide a healthy way for your child to express their emotions and deal with stress.
Mindfulness Practices: Introduce your child to mindfulness techniques like deep breathing, identifying what they’re feeling, or prayer, which can help them manage anxiety and maintain a sense of calm.
5. Monitor Media Intake and Social Media Use
With bullying, classism, mean-spirited humor, comparison, and toxicity at the swipe of a finger, social media consumption has a significant impact on our student’s mental health.
The music they listen to can have the same or similar impact.
Think about it: at this age, especially middle school students, they aren’t always mature enough to process the difference between entertainment vs. reality. And, while it’s unrealistic to completely shield our children from certain songs, images, and social media, we can help them navigate this healthily:
Set Boundaries: Establish clear rules around screen time and social media use. Encourage breaks from screens, especially before bedtime, to ensure they decompress from what they’ve taken in and get enough rest.
Discuss Media Intake and Online Behavior: Talk to your child about the importance of positive online interactions and the dangers of cyberbullying. Remind them that real people exist on the other side of their keyboards. Encourage them to speak up if they experience any online harassment.
Because we’re living in a hypersensitive culture, I do feel the need to give this disclaimer: I’m not trying to tell anyone how to parent but only offer things to consider regarding what we allow our students to intake. Consuming violence, anger, and negativity can certainly impact mental well-being.
So, publicly condemn and don’t tolerate even adult behaviors that are out of line, which they may see on the news or in media (especially in this negative political climate). Constant exposure to negativity can easily set false norms.
I trust that you will do what’s best for your home. Still, I recommend avoiding certain things, including hypersexual and violent shows, music, and movies around the students unless you’re having discussions centered on learning their perspective, feedback, and how they are processing this information.
In the past, I’ve printed out rap lyrics to popular songs for my 7th-grade girls to read. They were shocked to know the meaning of some of the lyrics they sang and rapped unaware. This activity provided space for constructive conversations and an opportunity for them to consider their mental health.
Be Involved: Be aware of what they’re watching and engaging in on all social media platforms and even YouTube. Check their phones and search histories regularly. You can also have a family friend or aunt/uncle follow their account as additional eyes and ears. Understanding the apps they’re on can help you filter what they are consuming and teach them how to use these platforms responsibly.
6. Build a Support Network
Your child needs to have a strong support system at home and school. Work on building a network that includes:
Trusted Adults: Encourage your child to connect with trusted adults (outside of you), such as teachers, coaches, aunts/uncles, mentors, or school counselors, who they can turn to for support.
Peer Relationships: Help your child develop and maintain healthy friendships. Friendships provide emotional support and a sense of belonging, which is crucial during adolescence. Get to know their friends and their friend’s parents as well. Your children's friends' perspectives will occasionally be more important than yours. The sad truth is that they will value the perspective and advice of someone their own age more than the one who is twice their age. So understanding and getting to know who will be advising them helps tremendously.
Professional Help: If you notice signs of distress or if your child expresses suicidal thoughts, seek professional help immediately. Don’t take this lightly, and don’t be afraid to ask if they’ve ever felt suicidal or thought about it. Contact a mental health professional who can provide the necessary support and intervention.
7. Lead by Example
You are the first person your child will ever imitate. They learn everything from us, even when we aren't aware. Your child views you as a role model. Therefore, showing them healthy ways to deal with stress, talk about feelings, and seek help when necessary can have a significant impact:
Practice Self-Care: Show your child that self-care is important and that it’s okay to take time for yourself. This can include anything from reading a book to walking or talking to a friend. Showing emotion in front of them is also healthy, and it helps them see your humanity.
Be Open About Mental Health: Normalize conversations about mental health in your household. Let your child know it’s okay to talk about their feelings and that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
8. Stay Informed
Educating yourself about mental health and suicide prevention can better equip you to support your child. Consider:
Attending Workshops or Seminars: Many schools and community organizations offer resources for parents on how to support their child’s mental health.
Utilizing Online Resources: Organizations like the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) provide valuable information and resources for parents. Lastly, learn Alpha-Gen and Gen-Z slang and text emoji meanings so you can also decipher the language they speak.
In conclusion, helping your kid navigate the ups and downs of adolescence can be the best way to improve the mental health of middle schoolers. By expressing love, fostering open communication, recognizing signs of distress, promoting healthy coping mechanisms, and staying informed, you can help improve the mental health of your student during this critical time.
Remember, your additional care and vigilance can help to save a life, and you're not alone—reach out for support if you need it, and work together with your child to navigate these formative years.
This September and beyond, let us commit to prioritizing our students' mental health and ensuring they have the help they need to succeed.
Be sure to come back next week as we discuss social media safety. If you found this helpful, please share it with someone who needs it.
Xo,
Coach Rahk
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